Self confidence is a foundation for how we view ourselves and how we interact with our world and allow the world to interact with us. A negative self concept can lead to disaster for an individual in both their professional and personal lives. Whereas a positive self concept can help one maintain healthy relationships.
One of the best ways to improve self confidence is to carry a small notebook and start becoming aware of the phrases you say to yourself at least a hundred times a day.
Write down the phrases and words you tell yourself for a week. Then, sit down and take two pieces of paper, writing down all the positive words and phrases on one page and the negative on the other page. If your page of negatives is longer than your page of positives then you have some work to do.
Do not get discouraged. This is actually a positive step. Once we become aware of the things we say to ourselves, we can start to consciously change the message. Once we change the message, then our self confidence improves. This happens in two ways, first by recognizing the negative message and changing it, and second because you are consciously working on improving yourself.
This process does not happen overnight and it can take weeks to just get one simple negative message out of your subconscious reactions.
For example, you might wake up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look tired and old. Well, these two statements might be true, however, to constantly put ourselves down or speak negatively to ourselves is damaging. Instead, tape a note to your mirror that reminds you that you like your smile. And then smile at yourself when you look in the mirror in the morning.
It isn't phony to tell yourself positive messages. The world around us is constantly bombarding us with information about how we do not measure up to its standards. Be that person who can tell themselves positive messages so that you have the energy and self confidence to face your challenges and improve your professional and personal life.